Yeah, yeah, I know... they are nothin' but glorified Pop Tarts. But here's the thing- they weren't burnt! (A moral victory.)
When we moved into the house it had a "Space Saving" toaster screwed onto the bottom of the cabinets. (Not all of them, just one. Although a whole rank of Space Saving toasters all along the bottom of all your cabinets would be cool. You be King of Space Saved Toast.) And as it happened, our regular toaster crapped out right before we moved.
The downside was the thermostat on the toaster was... random. Sometimes the toast would be too light, other times it would be burnt. Never "just right". Not unless you hovered around the toaster and turned your toast halfway through. Don't get me started on bagels. And Toaster Strudels, that start out frozen? You might as well just cook real strudel from a recipe. It'd be less involved.
So, after THREE YEARS we got a new, working toaster. Actually a "toaster oven". And my Raspberry Toaster Strudel came out perfect.